you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
