Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
