Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
