we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
