Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
