you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
