You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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