i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
