I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
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