break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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