My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
