Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Such a big mess for such a small penis
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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