He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
