hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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