You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
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