she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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