Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
