I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
