I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
