Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
