His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
