On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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