brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
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