Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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