bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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