Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
