Just mADE A PArabola og urine
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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