every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
We talked him into tasing himself.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
