you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
