did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
