what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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