when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
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