The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize