Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
