just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
