can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
We don't watch enough power rangers
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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