Just fell off a train. Bad.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Randomize
