Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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