Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Randomize
