Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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