bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
