I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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