i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
