I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I just blew my weed a kiss
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
