She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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