just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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