Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
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