he shaved USA in his pubs
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
