i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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