she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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