I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
