I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
