Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
