Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
