I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
