someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
