Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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