You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
