you would pick up someone in the library
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
