it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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