guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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