I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
